I'm starting this blog with a selection of some of my favourites written over the years.

PRAYER FOR THE LATE LISSA

Oh, Lord,
before they write the late before my name
let me for once be early.

Let me break the tyranny of generations
(maternal, not paternal)
and arrive completely and correctly clothed,
in breath,
with the agenda,
gift, or any other essential requisite intact,
some minutes before the event

Let me learn
that ten miles cannot be covered in ten minutes,
at least not by a reasonable person
-and I am a reasonable person -
on Lincolnshire roads.

Let me learn
that a Church Service begins before - not after -
the first hymn.

Let me learn
that a meeting starts with apologies and minutes,
and not with A.O.B.

Let me learn
that friends
- however late themselves -
expect some semblance of punctuality.

Let me learn
that it is possible
to write a reply
within six months of receiving a letter,
and that birthday cards and presents
may be bought and sent
some days in advance.

Oh, Lord,
before they write 'late' before my name
let me for once be early.

Unless, of course, that is,
I am already late for my own funeral . . .
in which case, let me be much later!